Well fuck

My dad called today, we don't speak each other often but we're good *thumbs up* He told me that he can't move 1 leg. If he tries to move his leg it hurts a lot.

So he went to the docter and they say that it could be 3 things: Lyme disease, brain haemorrhage (stroke) or.. Multiple sclerosis (MS)

Freaking. MS. Like. wtf. The docters already (kinda) ruled out Lyme. But here I am. Just 20 years old and terrified to death because of the thoughts of losing my dad. Or at least watch him suffer because THERE IS NOTHING ELSE I CAN FREAKING DO. You know.. your parents are invincible, they should like grow old peacefully and play with the grandchildren or whatever.. Not this god damn it.. Not after we received the news that his cancer is not aggressive and that it's all good. He doesn't deserves this.. It also goes bad financially. My dad was too proud to tell my mom (they're divorced) that he couldn't pay for his groceries because the house THEY bought is too expensive for his salary alone. If my mom and dad wouldn't go beserk, I would have quit my study and help out my dad. But they won't allow it. It's just so frustrating.

The test results will be known on 31 of August, ironically on my dads birthday. We are trying to stay positive and we hope it's lyme. My dad works in a forest and it makes more sense. Easy curable also so no biggie.

Fingers crossed